On the morning of his 21st wedding anniversary, Randy Spires woke up expecting kisses and a loving note from his wife, affirming their lives together. Instead he found he’d been blind-copied on an e-mail to her female lover. “It was like taking every emotion you ever had and putting it on the tumble setting in your clothes dryer,” says Spires.
Despite the initial shock of finding out that his wife was having an affair — and a same-sex one, at that — Spires hoped to salvage the marriage. “I’d just completed my military career, and she was starting to get traction in her own job. So for a year and a half we went off in different directions, working different shifts. I was giving her an opportunity to grow, just as she had given me, during my career. I loved her, I trusted her. If you’ve only been married once, you don’t know what to expect.”
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