Divorce360

Can Feng Shui Help My House? By NANCY WE

divorce360 — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 16:25:40 +0000

Can Feng Shui Help My House?

By NANCY WESSON

Q: I’m recently divorced and remaining in the house I shared with my ex. Not only is some of the furniture gone — making the place feel empty — but everything is a reminder of my past. How can I shake this feeling and make the place feel like mine?

A: That sounds familiar! The good news is: you can fix it. The emotional aspect will take some time, but using familiar pieces of furniture in different ways can help even that along. We live with our furniture so long it’s sometimes hard to imagine that a dining table can now become a display piece, a desk or a project table.

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A simple letter to the other woman

divorce360 — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 12:33:40 +0000

Have you ever been abused, or your son? Have you ever had your heart broken? Why, explain why did you cheat on your husband? Why did you get a divorce from the first spouse? What did you see in the second one that made you want to marry them, and now want to leave? Why did your son leave to live with his Dad (your first husband)? Why did you let your son leave?

What did you feel that made you feel it is ok to have an affair? Why do you think you have heard the truth? What reasoning did you have that came that there is nothing wrong in what you are doing? Why am I the enemy in all this? Because I live in a home I buildt and have children? Do you think I am a useless human being who doesn’t deserve to be in this life?

I mean no harm, see you really don’t know me, do you? I am just asking what made you come to these decisions..no, I am not like you..ask me questions and I will expalin. Do you really know what I have lived with, thru the last 24 years? Do you really know me?

I am just trying to understand the reasoning in a woman’s head, that feels it is ok, they get up everyday and feel good about themselves..I could not..teach me, explain to me how and why..explain how you can live with a husband but feel so much for another..how you cannot get out of a bad relationship before beginning another?? What went wrong in your relationship’s that you went with another…not knowing or caring what the pain you would cause..did you not believe there would not be any…

Write what you feel, I for one will understand..my heart..you will never know..I wish you the best in this next journey of your life..one with another husband..no he was not single, divorced when you met..you knew that..explain to us..one’s who would not do that..why..and how you reason why it is ok..good luck to you and him..no, I will never meet you, we are not on the same path..I prefer a man, yes, a real man, who made decisions in his relationship before beginning another…they are more like me..not saying your wrong..just not like me…I believe in ones like me, sorry, I believe.

I hope the day doesn’t come when either of you feel things aren’t perfect..meet someone at hotels..love them..lie to the spouse, yes, cheat, explain how and why..we would love to hear..you are alone with me..maybe not with others. Is it that easy to leave a life you were building..is the next one better?

I wish you a relationship were there are no more hotels, secret phone calls, lies, meeting in secret and speaking bad of the other married one in your life..boy, help me understand the how, why and if it ever lasts??

I do not have it in me to hate..but I also do not have it in me to be like you..no, sorry…let me know how you feel ok in all you did…sorry you will never find me in a hotel with a married man..let me know how you did?

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Does Dead Broke = Deadbeat?

divorce360 — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:42:52 +0000

Can’t Pay & Won’t Pay Ex’s Face The Courts

By DAVID PISARRA

“Deadbeat Dads” has been the headliner of multiple stories in the Chicago Sun-Times for decades. Cook County launched “Operation Father’s Pay”; Butler County in Ohio put faces of these so called deadbeats on pizza boxes; and the Los Angeles County District Attorney announced their “Most Wanted Delinquent Parent” list. Several other states have begun similar campaigns to collect on un-paid child support. All of these humiliating campaigns launched against these fathers would have us believe that the men targeted are insensitive deadbeats who are selfishly stiffing their children; however, research contradicts this.

The fact that many of these types of campaigns struggle to come up with alleged “deadbeats” who have an education or a middle-class job might give less zealous public officials cause to stop and pause. Federal Office of Child Support Enforcement data shows that two-thirds of those behind on child support nationwide earn poverty level wages; less than four percent of the national child support debt is owed by those earning $40,000 or more a year. According to the largest federally-funded study of divorced dads ever conducted, unemployment, not willful neglect, is the largest cause of failure to pay child support.

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First lawyer visit

divorce360 — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 20:53:12 +0000

Tomorrow is my first lawyer visit. I’m glad and nervous at the time. I’m glad to finally be getting something done legally. I’m nervous because I’m not sure I’m fully prepared for the meeting. I’ve been looking online for any questions that I should ask the lawyer about the legal side of divorce but I haven’t really found anything.

I know I have to bring my soon to be ex’s new address. Other than that I really have no idea.

I don’t think the process will take long. We have no children, no house, no assets to split, no joint accounts, no shared bills or debts. We both have our own stuff and are satisfied with that. I guess this should be an easy, no contested divorce. Probably the only easy thing about this entire ordeal. Go figure.

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My best friend, the other woman

divorce360 — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 10:21:20 +0000

Last night I was talking with my best friend in WA. She was very happy and excited, which was a nice change as she’s been pretty down since her boyfriend left her last month.

”He’s coming back! He says he loves and misses me and he’s moving back in!”

”Wow! So…what did he tell his wife?”

Yep, she’s been seeing a married man with 2 kids for over a year now. He and one child are legally citizens of the U.S. and his wife and the other child are Mexican citizens. Last year, his wife took the children to Mexico to assist her ailing mother while he stayed in WA to work to send them money. My friend moved in with him the day after his wife left. They’ve been living together in the home he shared with his wife and children for over a year, until last month.

He had a twinge of conscious and decided he wanted to move to Mexico to be with his family and “do the right thing.” My friend was heartbroken but respected his decision and thought it was the right thing to do. You see, she sees the perfect arrangement as “sharing,” him. She thinks he should be there for his family, but also for her. She once told me that she would love for his wife and children to live somewhere near by and he could go between houses according to the kids’ needs…and his. He no longer wants his wife, but can’t stand the thought of losing the kids. Apparently, divorce is very shunned by their culture and family and, from the very beginning, it was understood that he would never get a divorce, nor would he ever tell his wife about my friend. She walked into this with eyes wide open.

So, after being with his family for about a month, his wife asked for a divorce! She’d finally had it with his lying and told him to fuck off. So now he’s moving back to WA and back in with my friend. She’s elated and can barely contain herself.

Could this possibly work? And why would she think he wouldn’t do the same to her someday? How do I act happy for her when I’m actually pretty disgusted?

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In The Middle Of Planning A Wedding, You Break Up. Now What?

divorce360 — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 21:15:31 +0000

Who Is Responsible For The Expenses If The Relationship Ends?

Planning a wedding? Take a lesson from RoseMary Shell, who dumped her high-paying job to move to another state to live with her fiancé before their wedding. A Georgia jury last week awarded Shell $150,000 in a breach of contract lawsuit she filed against Wayne Gibbs, who dumped her just days before their planned wedding.

But experts say she’s partially responsible for what happened by not being financial smart, despite her emotional commitment. “This woman foolishly left a good-paying job for the hope of being married. Frankly, I’m surprised the courts awarded her $150,000. I think they did her — and all women — a disservice by suggesting that it’s okay to relinquish the power you have to the title of Mrs.,” said Dr. Gilda Carle, a internationally-known relationship expert, author and therapist who operates a private practice in New York and has a Web site at www.Dr.Gilda.com.

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Ex Showing Up Late Or Not Showing At All (for visitation)?

divorce360 — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 11:43:18 +0000

Part of your responsibility as the custodial parent is to encourage and assist with visitation. Kids need two parents in their lives, and it takes two parents to make visitation plans work. However, there are some non-custodial parents who either skip visitation or think it should revolve around their lives. Dealing with these situations can be challenging. Here are some suggestions to help.

1. The No-Show:
If the other parent does not come for visitation on any regular basis, you may be at a loss as to what to do. Should have your child ready and waiting only to be disappointed time after time? Should you give up on visitation completely? Will you get in trouble if you no longer make your child available? If you’re in a situation where your child is regularly being disappointed by a no-show parent, it is in the best interest of your child if you stop getting ready for visitation at the scheduled times. The excitement and letdown can truly be too much for any child.

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Can You Get Joint Custody Post Divorce?

divorce360 — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 15:20:16 +0000

Joint custody is an important factor that may have been overlooked during the divorce process. Circumstances in the future can change and it is best to prepare ahead of time for any eventuality. Changing the custody of children after a divorce can be relatively simple if both parents agree, though relocation can be an issue later. The court will rule based upon what is in the best interests of the child.

Is It Cheaper To Hire A Paralegal?

divorce360 — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 09:44:37 +0000

If you are looking for an affordable method to file for divorce, using a paralegal may be the way to go.

Amy Wishart of DoItYourselfDocuments has worked as a paralegal in the state of Washington for several years. Wishart said she provides a service that saves people time and money. “The main benefit is the savings as whole,” Wishart said. “If they have nothing to divide then it’s the easiest and most inexpensive way to get a divorce.”

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Ex a Threat to Your Kid

divorce360 — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:27:59 +0000

The media regularly reports on the tragic deaths of children at the hands of a divorced parent, often as retaliation against an ex, sometimes in a sudden fit of anger, and always for reasons only a troubled mind can decipher. Each news report is met with collective horror but the individual reviews are mixed: some of us believe it can never happen to us; others think it most certainly will. Both conclusions can be dangerously wrong.

If there is danger of your ex harming your children and you are either unaware or in denial, the results can be deadly. On the other hand, if there is no danger despite your fears and you overreact on your paranoia, you can destroy the lives of your children and your ex. “It’s often difficult to immediately determine who is a victim of child abuse and who is a victim of parental wars,” bemoans Dr. Kristi Murphy, clinical director of ChildHelp Children’s Center in Phoenix, Ariz.